Caring for a parent with dementia is a profound act of love. But it can also be exhausting, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Many adult children take on the caregiving role without pause, juggling their own families, careers, and responsibilities alongside full-time care. In doing so, they often forget one critical truth: You can’t take care of someone else if you’re running on empty. That’s where respite care comes in and not as a last resort, but as a supportive part of the journey. In this article, we explore how to recognise caregiver burnout, how respite care supports both you and your loved one, and how to approach the delicate conversation with a parent who has dementia.
Why caregivers often forget to take care of themselves
When you’re caring for a parent, it’s easy to ignore your own needs. You may feel it’s your duty or that no one else can do it as well as you can. You may even feel guilty for wanting a break. These feelings are completely normal, but over time, they can take a toll.
Signs of caregiver burnout may include:
Constant fatigue or difficulty sleeping
Mood swings, anxiety, or feelings of depression
Trouble concentrating or making decisions
A sense of guilt, resentment, or helplessness
Isolation from friends, family, or support systems
Over time, burnout doesn’t just affect your health, it can also impact your ability to provide the best care for your parent. Learn more about caregiver burnout here.
The role of respite care in dementia support
Respite care provides short-term, professional support for people living with dementia, giving their primary caregivers the opportunity to rest, recharge, or manage other aspects of life. It might be for a few hours, a weekend, or several weeks, depending on your needs. At Livewell, our Respite Care programme is designed to deliver the highest quality of care in a structured, supportive, and dementia-friendly environment. This includes:
A personalised care plan developed by our clinical team
Daily routines and meaningful memory care activities
Supervision and support from experienced dementia care staff
Regular updates and communication with family members
- Nutritious meals and snacks
Respite care isn’t just a break, it’s a way to ensure continuity of care, emotional support, and peace of mind for everyone involved.
Making the decision to use respite care
Deciding to use respite care for a parent with dementia can feel overwhelming. You may worry about their reaction, their safety, or how they will adjust to a new environment. But respite care, when introduced thoughtfully, can actually help your parent enjoy new social interactions in a safe setting, benefit from structured activities tailored to their cognitive level and feel more secure in a consistent, nurturing environment. Many families who use Livewell’s Respite Care programme are pleasantly surprised at how positively their loved one responds. Some even use respite stays to ease the transition into permanent care later on.
How to talk to a parent with dementia about respite care
Once you’ve decided that respite care is the right step, the next challenge is talking to your parent about it. These conversations can be difficult, especially as dementia progresses. But with the right approach, you can make it feel safe, comforting, and even positive.
1. Choose the right time – Timing matters. Plan the conversation during a time of day when your parent is usually calm and receptive – often in the morning or after a meal. Avoid late afternoons or evenings, when confusion and anxiety may increase due to sundowning.
2. Keep it simple and reassuring – Use short sentences, warm tone, and language they understand. Avoid medical terms like “respite care” or “facility,” which may sound clinical or scary. Instead, frame the stay as a short break or gentle support.
Suggested script (early to moderate dementia): “Mom, I’ve found a lovely place with kind people who can help look after you for a few days. I’ll still be checking in and visiting. This will give both of us a bit of rest – I think we deserve that.”
Suggested script (moderate to advanced dementia): “Dad, we’re going to visit a place where you can relax and be looked after while I take care of a few things. It’s only for a short time, and I’ll come see you soon.”
3. Focus on positive framing – Explain that this is an opportunity for them to enjoy something new, like different activities, friendly people, or a change of scenery. Reinforce that they are not being left behind, but rather supported in a different way.
4. Avoid overloading with information – People with dementia can become anxious or confused if presented with too much detail. Focus on the present moment and provide reassurance as needed. You may need to repeat the conversation more than once.
5. Bring familiar comforts – When the day arrives, pack comforting items like a favourite blanket, framed photo, or music playlist. Familiarity helps reduce anxiety and creates a sense of home in a new space.
6. Stay Calm, even if they resist – If your parent becomes upset or refuses, don’t argue. Acknowledge their feelings and gently redirect the conversation. Sometimes, a gentle approach over several days is better than trying to convince them in one sitting.
Supporting families through every step
At Livewell, we know that these decisions aren’t easy. That’s why we walk alongside families, not just during respite care, but before, during, and after. Whether you’re planning a once-off stay or considering a longer-term transition, we’ll help guide the process with compassion and professionalism. Respite care isn’t giving up. It’s giving yourself and your parent the support you both need to continue the journey with strength.
If you’re ready to explore respite care for dementia or would like to speak with one of our care coordinators, we’re here to help. Livewell has specialised dementia care estates in Bryanston (Johannesburg) and Somerset West (Cape Town). Contact us today to book a personalised assessment or learn more about how our respite care can support your family.